The Doctor Does Dixie
by NellyN
Summary: When the TARDIS gets stuck in a local TV studio in Possum Holler, Louisiana, it seems like an accident. But where the Doctor is concerned, there are no coincidences. Young con artists Harper Lawson and "Cotton Dan" Cooper face a private crisis with cosmic repercussions.
1. A doctor in the house

"We're live in ten, nine, eight…" Harper Lawson said. She adjusted her headphones and made sure the microphone was directly in front of her lips. She exchanged one glance with Mike Spitz. He was leaning on the camera, as usual. "Seven… six…_ Mike!... _four…"

Mike sat up straight and glared.

Harper held up a hand where Danny could see it. Danny stopped tugging at his tie. His cornflower blue eyes twinkled, and his golden hair had just the right amount of gel. The seersucker suit was perfect, not corny at all under the harsh lights. He looked like someone you'd trust your teenage daughter with. Even the shine on his face, an accident of makeup, looked just right. Harper winked at him and he grinned back. Then she frowned and he rolled his eyes. _Be serious, Danny_.

Counting off on her fingers, Harper mouthed _three, two, one _and pointed at Danny.

Danny leaned forward and put his elbows on the desk. He looked the camera dead in the eye. "Goooood mornin', mamas and daddies, boys and girls! I'm Reverend Dan Cooper, but since we're friends you can call me… what?" He paused dramatically, waggling his eyebrows.

"COTTON DAN!" yelled Harper and Mike and the balcony crew and the floor staff. The noise was enhanced by a recording of shouts and cheers. There was no room for a _real_ studio audience in Studio 9. Not that it mattered. Soon enough they'd be on to better things. Danny would see to that. Danny always saw to that.

"That's right," said Danny. He put a hand to his heart. "Cotton Dan, here to wake you up with the Word of the Lord on another bee-eee-ay-uitiful Sunday mornin'. Now I have some great news for you here this morning, the Lord's day. I have a good word, yes I do! I am happy to tell you that the audience for _Sunday_ with Cotton Dan has tripled, yes, _tripled_ since the first episode of _Sunday_, which was broadcast just three months ago. Which just goes to show you that when you give with your whole heart and soul—as I do—the good Lord will pay you back _threefold_. Which happens to be the theme of today's broadcast: generosity."

Harper rested a hand on the camera stand and watched. It was one of her favorite things in the whole world, watching Danny work. When he said _generosity_, you wanted to find your pocketbook and write him a check for everything you had.

Plenty of people had done so. Before coming to Gulf Coast and setting up _Sunday_, Danny and Harper had worked Vegas and Miami and even New York City. They'd done everything from passing twenties on Route 66 to running the Lost Passport con in Key West. But _Sunday_ was their crowning achievement. When they'd started, Harper thought Danny would come off as too city, too young, too slick for the Bible Belt crowd. But when he put on that cornball Southern accent and rodeo belt buckle, he could sell anything. He could sell salvation to Louisiana sharecroppers, for real money, easy as key lime pie.

There was something beautiful about it. It was art.

When Danny finished his monologue and began saying the Lord's Prayer, Harper pleased herself by biting her lip and blinking prettily and loosening the top button of her blouse. She knew she drove Danny crazy, and she also knew he couldn't do anything about it while he was on TV. To the audience, "Cotton Dan" was pure of heart, and, at least theoretically, pure of other things as well.

_Love you_, she mouthed. She gave him two thumbs up. _You're doing great._

Danny was looking at her, not the camera, and his voice snagged on "thy kingdom come."

_Look at the camera, babe, _she mouthed, pointing at it.

Danny blinked once and looked away. Harper curled a piece of hair behind her ear, feeling suddenly exposed; oh, the conversations they'd had, when neither of them was free to speak.

And then something terrible happened.

Danny was into another monologue now. "And now that we have shared this prayer to the Lord, good folks of the God-blessed states of Louisiana and Mississippi, I want you to think about all of the _blessin_'s that you have had in your life…"

He trailed off. His face went slack. His lips worked slightly.

Harper's heart caught in her throat, but she felt frozen in place.

_Oh, Danny. Not here. Not now._

"What's the matter?" said Mike. "Did the teleprompter break?"

Danny's jaw set. His eyes rolled back into his head.

"He doesn't use a teleprompter," said Harper. She pressed the button on her headset that connected her to the studio's control room. "Go to commercial."

"But it's not time yet—"

"Damn it! Cut off the camera and go to commercial _right now_." She threw off the headset and bounded onto the stage. "Danny? Babe?" She slipped her hand into Danny's and held him close. His skin was cold.

The entire floor crew was gawking. "Jesus," she snapped at them, "haven't any of you idiots seen a man having a seizure before? Someone call a doctor." She put a hand to Danny's face and forgot all about the other people in the world. "Danny, it's me."

His eyes refocused. He looked suddenly exhausted. But here. Beautifully here. "Harper?"

"Babe, it happened again. You were on TV. You were doing _Sunday."_

His face fell. "Oh no."

"It's OK," said Harper. She bent to look in his eyes. "But I want you to see somebody."

He gripped his temples. "I blew it. It's going to ruin everything."

"Hush. Don't worry about that," said Harper. She looked over her shoulder and raised her voice. "Am I speaking Swahili? Somebody call _nine—_"

Danny pushed her away. "Come on. I don't need an ambulance. I'm fine."

Harper rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid."

"You don't need to worry about—"

It was around then that a large blue box appeared on the studio floor.

#

It was like a phone booth, except that in Harper's experience, bright blue phone booths didn't appear out of nowhere moments after someone had a seizure.

If that wasn't enough, a young man came charging out of it. He was shouting. "Then I'll go off on my own! I could, you know. I've done it before! I've been on my own longer than you've been alive!" He slammed the door behind him and whirled. He was about thirty, with a homely, appealing face and something of a Roman nose. "All right then!" he said sharply, crossing his arms. "Hello, 'carnivorous forest of Vellinor.' I hope you brought your A game, boys, because my wife is out of town and I am in a _woodcutting_ mood!" He glowered.

After nearly a full minute of silence, Harper swallowed hard and said, "Is that a British accent?"

Mike said, "Woodcutting?"

Danny just stared. He and Harper squeezed each other's hands and held on.

The man from the box deflated slightly. His shoulders sank and his anger drained away. "This isn't Vellinor, is it?"

Harper shook her head. "No," she said. "Um."

"Perfect." The Roman Englishman threw up his hands in exasperation. "Just _perfect_. As if my week wasn't bad enough." He paused. "Where is it?"

Nobody jumped to answer. Finally Harper said, "Possum Holler, Louisiana."

The visitor blinked. "There's a place called _Possum Holler_? An actual place?"

Harper cleared her throat. "Yes."

"And I'm _in_ it?"

"Yes."

The Englishman shook his head. He rubbed the back of his neck. "America?"

"Yes."

The Englishman turned around and kicked the door open. "It's not even the right planet!"

He slammed the door shut behind him. There was a grinding, wheezy noise, and the box disappeared.

#

Silence. Mike looked at Harper. Harper looked at Mike. Harper looked down at Danny. Danny looked back.

Danny said, "Harper?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I changed my mind about going to the hospital."

"Uh-huh."

Just when they had begun to get over the shock, the noise came again, and the box reappeared. This time it was on the stage, inches from where Harper was standing. She took a step back and put a hand on the back of Danny's chair.

The blue door cracked open and the angry Englishman looked out. Then he frowned in disappointment and turned to speak to someone inside. "Nope, it's the same place."

Another voice: "What? _Really_?"

"I mean, slightly different but mostly the same." He shrugged.

"Well, how do you like that?" said the other voice. "Better go and have a look."

"Right," the Englishman groused. "Of course. Whatever you say."

The Englishman held open the door and stood aside like a butler.

A different man emerged from the box. He was also young, but there was something very weird about him, and it wasn't that he was British, under fifty and wearing a bow tie. Harper liked him and feared him all at once. She realized almost immediately what the problem was: he reminded her of Danny. It wasn't so much the way he looked physically as the overall _presentation_. Harper had spent the last three years madly in love with a top-notch liar and confidence man.

She knew the type.

"Hello," said the con man. "I'm the Doctor. Don't mind Rory. He's just cross because I won't pick up Amy. Is this the Deep South?"

"Yes," said Harper.

"Lovely. It's been ages since I've 'done Dixie.'"

Rory nearly choked.

The Doctor glanced once around the room, then turned back to Harper, squinting. "Is this a television studio?"

"You're on _Sunday_ with Cotton Dan," said Harper. "This is Cotton Dan."

Danny waved weakly. "Hello."

"I'm Harper, and I'm Danny's…" She trailed off. "Look, what's going on here?"

"Oh, I'm just checking up on some things," said the Doctor, scratching his chin. "Knocking around a bit. Visiting and so on. You shouldn't worry. No need to run for your life or anything similar." He paused, evaluating the dimensions, effect and probability of this statement. "Are you all right? Has there been trouble here lately? Any sort of weird… stuff?"

Everyone was staring at him.

"What?" said the Doctor. "Is there something in my teeth?"


	2. Oncoming storm

Danny knew he was smart.

He was smart in the sense of being really ridiculously good at solving problems, and smart in the sense of being appealing and well put together. On a good day, he was even smart in the sense of having a witty comeback for any occasion. So that was three dictionary definitions of smart and that made him feel pretty confident most of the time.

_Smart_ was, in fact, Danny's problem. Well—not being smart, but feeling smart. It had sent him down a path of crime and adventure at a time when most people his age were starting their first real job or going to graduate school. He was twenty-four and being smart had saved him from ever having a real job, regular bills, or a permanent place to live.

Sometimes he thought about settling down and getting a real life. Harper would like that. But what would that mean? Giving up the road? Filing taxes and eating French fries and waiting around to get old like the rest of humanity? Giving up a masterful identity like Reverend Cotton Dan, the man who could simply ask people for money _and get it_? Just the idea of stopping gave him the creeps.

Of course it was getting to the point where it wasn't his choice anymore.

"Cotton Dan" was an unassuming man. He wore a bolo tie and no other jewelry, not even a wedding ring, which was fine because Cotton Dan wasn't married. But _Danny _wore a silver bracelet. It had a red caduceus on it, and it said I HAVE A SEIZURE DISORDER on one side and had Harper's phone number on the other. It was so Danny could go out by himself.

He'd had absence seizures since he was a kid. Most of them only lasted a few seconds, and only Harper ever knew. But they were getting worse. A lot worse. There was no denying that. The medical alert bracelet, the cell phones and the worrying were all new factors in Harper and Danny's life. And now it was screwing up their Louisiana gig. Danny hated it. He hated the loss of independence, and he hated the fact that his sweet angle might be ruined by something he couldn't control.

Both the Doctor and Rory saw Danny fiddling with the bracelet, and Danny stopped himself, pulled his sleeve down over it, and crossed his arms. That was one of the risks of course: after getting away with so much for so long, you forgot that there were plenty people out there just as smart as you.

"All right," said Harper. Her eyes narrowed as she considered the options. Then she turned and addressed the crew. "That's a wrap for today. Everybody go home. See you next Sunday."

One of the PA's moaned, "We're not even halfway through!"

"What happened?" another person demanded.

"We're gonna get paid for today, right?" said someone from Second Camera.

"Put on a rerun," said Harper, shrugging. "There's been a scheduling conflict with the studio."

"A conflict?" said Mike Spitz. "There's never been a conflict before. Who the hell are those guys?"

Harper glanced at them once. Brits in a weird blue box. She shrugged. "Cirque d'Soleil. It's a public access special. Last minute."

The Doctor grinned at her ingenuity.

"They're a circus act," said Mike skeptically.

Rory muttered, "Oh, why not."

Harper waved. "Go on, Mike. I'll call you tonight."

"Whatever," said Mike. He trudged out, a few steps behind the rest of the crew. They watched in silence until the studio was clear.

#

Danny got his head together. He sat up straight and gave the men from the box his most forthright look. "Okay," he said. "Tell me about that box."

"It's a police phone box from 1965," said the Doctor.

Rory said, "It's bigger on the inside."

The Doctor said, "And it travels in time and space."

"It's called the TARDIS," Rory finished. "Any more questions?"

Danny looked at it for a moment. Then he nodded warily. "You on the same page as me, Harper?"

"Same page, babe. Blue box, time and space, British guys."

Danny breathed a sigh of relief. "You OK with this?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Then it's fine with me," said Danny. He cocked his head and got a canny look in his eyes. He pretended to cough and came back with his Cotton Dan accent. "I mean, I got no problem with that."

"That's a relief," said the Doctor. "Because I was really concerned about what you thought."

Harper had her phone out. She'd taken a picture of the TARDIS and the Doctor and Rory and was now Googling ferociously. Without looking up, she said, "And you're doctors? Like, Ph.D.s? Or like real doctors?"

Danny gave her a sharp look, which she pretended not to see.

"I'm a nurse actually," said Rory.

The Doctor said, "I'm definitely real."

"Uh-huh," Harper said. "You boys hungry?" When Danny made a face, Harper muttered, "Don't squawk. I'm showing Southern hospitality."

The Doctor grinned. "Starved. Parched. All of that. Thanks."

Rory said, "We're not really. We just had breakfast in Indonesia. Well. The Dutch East Indies."

"Java _in_ Java," said the Doctor. "How could I resist? But it was just coffee and mangoes. And that was over two hundred years ago."

"I'm not hungry," said Rory.

"Shrimp and grits, Rory," said the Doctor. "Steak and eggs."

"Bad luck and trouble," said Rory.

"Maybe that too," said the Doctor. "Lead on, Harper Lee."

"It's Lawson," said Harper.

"I like Lee better," said the Doctor.

Harper said, "That's an author."

"I know."

#

They emerged in downtown Possum Holler, right near the Welcome sign. Danny caught Harper watching him to see if he was all right, and he made an extra effort to hide his fatigue and dizziness. If he played his cards right he could delay a trip to the local clinic, along with all those troublesome questions like _who are you_ and _where are you from _and _do you have health insurance_. Anyway, he would be OK after a few hours sleep. It looked worse than it was.

The town was a bit washed-out and sad-looking, like a lot of small towns these days. Half the storefronts were empty. There were few cars parked on the street. A huge Art Deco courthouse in the middle of town was an imposing presence, but it also made the entire place look dated. They were a short walk from a salt marsh and you could smell low tide in the air, coming off a brisk wind. The air was sweltering, and it was only 10 a.m.

Danny missed New York.

The Doctor studied the Welcome sign as if he had seldom seen something more interesting. It was just a sign, put up for the tourists that never came. The Doctor read it out loud. "Welcome to historical Possum Holler, est nineteen-oh-one." He tsked.

"What?" said Danny.

"Historical," said the Doctor.

Danny looked at the sign. "So?"

"Who ever heard of an _historical_ town?" said the Doctor. "It's 'historic.' _Historic_ Possum Holler."

"Does it matter?" said Danny.

The Doctor shrugged. "Not really. But it should."

Meanwhile Rory had turned the other way, and was looking down the street at the stores and shops. He shifted his weight a little. Almost without thinking he stepped closer to the stucco wall of the studio, hunting for cover. "Doctor, half the windows are boarded up."

"Well, of course they are," said Harper.

"Of course? Why of course?" the Doctor chirruped. He looked over Rory's shoulder. It was true. But what Rory didn't see was that most of the boards were actually permanent storm shutters. This was a town that got incoming on a regular basis. Fortified—the way early twenty-first century towns on the Gulf Coast were fortified. Not against monsters or Vikings or daleks, but against…

"Weather," Harper confirmed. "There's a storm coming in." She shrugged. "It's the time of year. But after Katrina everybody does extra. Better safe than sorry."

"A storm," said Rory, frowning.

"Yeah," said Harper.

"An _oncoming storm,_" said Rory.

"You're a bit slow, aren't you," said Harper.

Rory and the Doctor exchanged a look. Rory said, "We could have just gone out for a pint like normal blokes, you know."

"And miss all this?" said the Doctor.

"I had work today," Rory complained.

"Come on," said Harper. "The deli's still open for sure."


	3. It's got things

The deli was actually called The Deli, and it was a small restaurant on the farthest corner of downtown. Ten minutes brisk walk from the studio. As they approached they saw a young woman of generous proportions turning a tiny crank outside the picture window. The crank was on the end of a long pole, which fit into a keyhole above the window. Each turn of the crank lowered a storm shutter over the window, half an inch at a time.

"Hi, Cora," said Harper.

"Harper!" said the woman. "Cotton Dan!"

"Cora!" said Danny, perking up. "How you doin'? How're your kids?"

"Well you know, Reverend," said Cora, putting her hands on her hips. "It just like you said. Ever since I gave to your church I've been getting returns threefold." She had a sweet, musical Southern voice.

"Really?" said Danny, looking intrigued.

"You bet," said Cora. "Junior did a whole math lesson all by himself today. He's never been able to focus like that before. I said, it's the Lord working in him."

"That's what I like to hear," said Danny, patting her affectionately on the shoulder. He was doing his best Colonel Sanders impression. "Y'all keep those donations coming. Every dime does double duty in the service of the…"

The Doctor was frowning. It was the kind of frown that made a statement all its own. It said, _you should be quiet now_.

"…Lord," Danny finished weakly.

"Who are your friends?" said Cora.

"They're from out of town," said Danny.

"The Doctor," said the Doctor, "and Rory Pond."

"Oh, wow, you're British," said Cora, her eyes lighting up. "I love that. I never been anywhere but here and just once to Chalmette to get married. Say something else. Something really British."

The Doctor grinned brightly. "Blimey."

"Wow," said Cora. Then she blushed. "I'm sorry. I'm not usually so… it's just, we don't get visitors much down here. The Rev and Harper were the last ones and they came months ago."

"That's very interesting," said the Doctor.

"I wish it was." Cora sighed wistfully. "Nothing ever happens here."

"I don't know about that," said Rory.

"Did you come to work at the clinic?" said Cora. "We need a new doctor."

"Probably not," said the Doctor. He leaned forward conspiratorially. "But you never know."

Cora laughed. "You go on in, Doctor. My mama's cooking. We're having a hurricane party. Cooking up all the meat before the power goes out. Tell her you're maybe the new doctor for the the Plaquemines Clinic and she'll do you up some biscuits and gravy for free." She nodded. "Reverend. Harper. Mister Pond."

Behind him Harper put her hand on Danny's arm and whispered, "He's really good."

"Yeah," said Danny. "Really good."

#

Inside it was all parquet floors and gingham tablecloths, with the persistent smells of damp, frying oil, seafood and barbecue sauce. The place was packed. It looked like the whole town was here to get a piece of Cora's mama's hurricane party. A cheer went up as "Cotton Dan" entered the room. Unable to resist a crowd, Danny went charging in, pumping hands, patting children on the head and kissing women on the cheek.

The Doctor found them a booth in the back of the room, but couldn't settle. He kept looking around, like a meerkat popping his head up out of a hole. To Harper he said, "That line around the wall." He pointed at a brown line, about three feet up from the floor, that went all around the room. "Is that a water line?"

"Yeah." Harper nodded. "From the last time Possum Holler flooded."

The Doctor's brow furrowed. "Were you here when that happened?"

"No," said Harper distractedly. "That was years ago." She was trying to keep an eye on Danny, just in case he needed her. He was deep in conversation with Mr. Henderson, who owned the convenience store. Henderson kept on trying to put a check in Danny's hands, and for some reason, Danny was trying not to take it.

"How many years?"

"How should I know?" said Harper.

"Right. Hm." The Doctor took his screwdriver out of his pocket and slipped out of the booth. Heedless of how it looked, he crossed the room, dropped to his knees and began threading his way along the water line.

That left Harper and Rory, sitting across from each other, alone.

"He's not quite right, is he?" said Harper, after a moment. "The Doctor, I mean."

"I don't know," said Rory. "Right enough for the Doctor, I guess."

"So what's eating you, then?" said Harper. "I mean, it's not a bad town, really. The people are nice. It's peaceful. Good food. You get used to it. But you're jumpy as a cat."

"I'm sorry," said Rory. "It's my wife."

The silence between them was awkward. Rory's wedding ring gleamed under the lights. Laughter rose up like punctuation from the crowd Danny was working.

"Look," said Harper. She glanced once at the Doctor, who was now taking excessive interest in The Deli's cash register. She leaned forward and lowered her voice to a near whisper. "I'm not from here. It doesn't matter two ticks to me either way. But this is kind of a rural community, if you know what I mean. So you might not want to advertise that you and him are—"

"_She_ isn't here," said Rory quickly. "She's away. On a job interview. In Cardiff."

"Where's Cardiff?"

"Wales."

Harper cocked an eyebrow. "There's jobs going in Wales?"

"If you know the right people," said Rory. "And I do. Believe me. Anyway she's gone for the night and _he_ comes round and says, 'let's go out.'" Rory shrugged. "What am I supposed to do? He's a family friend."

"Her friend, I think," said Harper.

"Our friend," said Rory firmly. "Family, really. It's complicated." He looked down at his hands. "Anyway, its more difficult traveling without her. I don't really do this myself. If it was up to me, I'd stay home." He looked up again. "I don't know why I'm telling you."

"Maybe you recognize a kindred spirit," said Harper, smiling a little. "I'd stay home too, but Danny's not like that. And everything's less... just _less_ without him. Even being home."

"I know what you—"

The Doctor returned, dropping back into the booth beside Rory. Not caring at all that he was interrupting a conversation, the Doctor rested an elbow on the table, put his chin in his hand and stared keenly into Harper's eyes. "Where do you and Danny stay? Do you have a house in town or do you rent a room?"

"We have an Airstream," said Harper. "In the parking lot near the studio."

"Right then!" He paused. "What's an Airstream?"

"A mobile home."

The Doctor's eyes narrowed. "You like traveling."

"Yes," said Harper. "We do."

"Good. Me too. And what are you going you do?"

"I don't understand." Harper glanced at Rory, who shrugged.

"This is serious. Pay attention to what I'm saying," said the Doctor. "There's a hurricane coming in and you live in a mobile home in a parking lot." He was speaking slowly, as if laying out a logical puzzle. "What do you and Danny do when there's a storm? Do you sleep in the studio? Go to a friend's house? Stay here in the Deli? What?"

Harper looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

The Doctor turned to Rory. "What's your impression of this place?"

"I don't know. So far, so good?" said Rory.

"Yeah, exactly," said the Doctor. "Exactly what I was thinking. So far, so good." He turned back to Harper. "I would like to see your Airstream mobile home, Harper. Shall we go?"

"But we haven't even ordered," Rory protested.

"Do you need to eat _all the time_?" the Doctor said. "I mean, we did just have breakfast."

Rory took a deep breath and counted to ten in his head.

"Does it have to be now?" said Harper.

"Why not?"

"It's just, I'm a little worried about…"

"What?" said the Doctor. "What are you worried about?"

Harper didn't answer, but she glanced at Danny.

"Yes," said the Doctor. "We need to talk about you and Danny."

Harper stood and waved for him. He didn't have any problem getting something to eat. He had a cup of coffee in one hand and a hot buttered biscuit in the other. No charge of course. That was Danny's M.O. He didn't pay for things when he could simply charm them out of somebody. He looked at Harper with questioning eyes.

She tossed her head at the door. "We're going home."

On the way out they passed Cora again. She was still closing the hurricane shutters. The crank went _squeak_ with every turn. The air had a still, humid, slightly electric feeling.

"See you later, Doctor?" said Cora.

"Maybe," said the Doctor. "Stranger things have happened."

#

"I like this place," said the Doctor, as they walked back toward Studio 9. He was going fast, nearly jogging. The three of them struggled to keep up. "It's interesting."

"Um," said Harper. "Thanks?"

"You like it too, don't you, Harper?" said the Doctor.

"It's all right."

The Doctor said, "Cotton Dan?"

"I like the people," said Danny.

The Doctor pivoted suddenly. Danny almost ran into him.

"Yes. I've seen how you get on with the people," said the Doctor acidly. "You like them so well you're wringing them of their last dimes, _Reverend_."

Danny glowered. "I'm a man of faith," said Danny. "Nothing wrong with that."

"No," said the Doctor, leaning forward. "I'm a man of faith."

"I didn't say what I had faith _in_," said Danny, dropping the Cotton Dan accent. It wasn't working on the Doctor.

"Neither did I," said the Doctor. "I'm not here to judge, but you'd better not try winding _me_ up the way you do ordinary people. It could get you in a lot of trouble today."

"Wouldn't dream of it," said Danny, raising his hands in surrender. "Can you teach me that accent someday?"

The Doctor scoffed, turned, and started walking again. "When we get to this Airstream, I want you to do whatever it is you do when a storm is coming. Just pretend I'm not here."

"Doctor," said Harper, "really, we don't—"

"Don't." The Doctor stopped and whirled again. This time Harper _did_ run into him. He put his index finger lightly over her lips, a shushing gesture. "Don't say another word. I'm not finished thinking yet." He bit his lip. "Rory?"

"Hm?"

"What do you think about this town?"

"You just asked me that in the restaurant."

"Yes, and now I'm asking you again."

"It's… a town," said Rory. "It's got things."

"You bet it does," said the Doctor, snapping his fingers. "Things. Thank goodness you're here, Rory. Whatever would I do without you? The Last Centurion."

It was like a code. In his own way, the Doctor was telling Rory to go on highest alert. The way he said it made Rory wish he had a sword. "Doctor." Rory looked around suspiciously. The shadows seemed to lengthen. He was suddenly glad that Amy wasn't here. "I don't know about the town, but _you're_ worrying me a little."

"Good," said the Doctor. "Keep an eye on our new friends. And by 'friends' I mean _friends_ and by 'keep an eye on them' I mean _look after them_. Just to make sure we're clear."

"All right," said Rory.

"And keep moving."

"Why?" said Rory. "Is something catching us up?"

"Heh. Look at you, eh? " said the Doctor. It was as if Rory had done unexpectedly well at his A levels. But the Doctor didn't smile, and he refused to say any more.


	4. Mobile home

The Doctor was in a dangerous mood.

Harper and Danny's Airstream was parked in a cracked and overgrown parking lot next door to Studio 9. It was like a silver Wienermobile, Rory thought. It was up on cement blocks and a set of fold-out stairs didn't touch the ground. Rory noticed all of this at speed, because the Doctor didn't wait for his entourage. He bounded up the stairs with the sonic screwdriver in his hand, buzzed the Airstream's lock and hopped inside.

"Does he always do that?" Harper asked Rory. "Just break into people's houses?"

"He doesn't usually break in," Rory said. "Mostly he just appears."

They came up the stairs at a more sedate pace to find the Doctor frantically pacing the room. "Well!" He gestured at Harper and Danny. "On you go. Start packing and calling people and so on."

But it was the Doctor who was moved to a frenzy of activity. Harper, Danny and Rory stood in the doorway while the Doctor opened every cabinet and sonic-ed under the bed.

The place wasn't so bad, Rory thought. It was smaller than the TARDIS but had the same cozy, almost nautical feeling. It was meticulously clean—not a sock or a book out of place—and Rory could see Harper's touch in the yellow curtains and a vase of black-eyed Susans on the kitchen counter. A king-sized bed took up almost the entire back end of the Airstream, and there was a tiny bathroom behind a door. The Doctor opened that door and stuck his head in, glaring daggers. Clattering noises came from what Rory assumed was the bathroom cabinet.

"Sorry," said Rory.

"It's fine," said Harper, her lips pursed. "We don't have any secrets."

"Yes you do," said the Doctor immediately. His voice echoed in the tiny bathroom. He stuck his head out briefly."I did warn you about winding me up." The door was open but they couldn't see his face as the Doctor rifled through Harper and Danny's private things.

The one thing Rory _didn't_ see was money. After seeing the _Sunday_ setup and the way Danny manipulated the people of Possum Holler, Rory guessed that Harper and Danny were quids in, out and around the corner. But if so, they didn't show it off. The Airstream was well-used. Everything in it was cheap, chosen more for efficiency and durability than looks. You imagined two people living a simple life on the road. What did they do with the money?

The Doctor stuck his head out. He had an armful of amber prescription bottles. He held them up to the light to read the labels. "What is this stuff?"

Harper looked at Danny.

Danny said, "They're my meds."

The Doctor looked at him over the edge of one of the bottles. "Really? What's the matter with you?"

Harper was incensed by his tone. She took a step forward. "There's nothing the matter with him."

"It's all right," said Danny softly. "I have epilepsy. I've had it since I was a kid." He showed his medical ID bracelet.

The Doctor squinted thoughtfully. "Where do you get medicine on the road?"

"The Internet?" said Danny.

"Yeah. OK. You shouldn't do that." The Doctor held up one bottle. "And really stop taking this. It doesn't work very well and in a couple of years they're going to find out it's…"

"What?" said Danny.

"Never mind," said the Doctor. He tossed it in the bin.

"Is that what you wanted?" Harper asked. "A chance to give us medical advice?"

The Doctor put the medicine on the kitchen counter. He was about to look in the cabinets under the sink when he stopped. He slowly turned around to look at them.

"You're not doing it," said the Doctor. "You're not getting ready."

Rory was looking out the tiny windows, like a good soldier. He didn't see anything coming.

"Yeah," said Harper. "I was trying to tell you before. We don't do anything before a storm because…"

Rory leaned on the counter and listened intently, ready for the solution to this mystery.

"Shh!" said the Doctor, cutting her off. "Not yet. Evidence before conclusions."

Rory sighed.

The Doctor went very still for a moment. "Okay! Today we're doing something brand new! Danny." He pointed. "Does your TV studio lock?"

"It's not _my_…"

"Does it lock or doesn't it?"

"Of course it does," said Danny.

"And it's made of brick."

"Just the frontage," said Danny. "Inside it's all cement block."

"Love it," said the Doctor. "That's better than I hoped. Get those medicines and anything else you'd like to keep and bring it into the studio. Do it right now and _fast_. Like your lives depend on it."

"Do they?" said Danny.

"Yes."

His tone brooked no argument, and Danny and Harper went to work.

Finding a perch beside Rory in the kitchen, trying to stay out of the way, the Doctor hunched, looked out the window and smiled in anticipation. It was his danger smile, the smile that meant something was coming and it might win this time, which would be an interesting change of pace.

"It's really bad, isn't it," Rory murmured.

"What? Oh. Yes. I think it probably is."

"I left a note for Amy," said Rory. "It said I'd be back soon and don't wait up."

"You want to phone her?"

"No," said Rory. "I'd rather just get on with it."

"Good man," said the Doctor.

"Yes," said Rory darkly. "That's me."

The Doctor watched Harper and Danny. They way they negotiated who would carry what. The intimacy. The Doctor hadn't had that in years. Not with River in prison and Amy and Rory safely embarked on their grown-up lives. He missed it.

"Historical," said Rory, interrupting these sad thoughts.

The Doctor didn't say anything, but he turned his head a little.

"That was the first thing that was weird. The sign."

"Hmm," said the Doctor.

Harper and Danny presented themselves with backpacks over their shoulders.

"That was quick," said the Doctor, sitting up straight. "Accustomed to leaving town in a hurry, are we?" He winked.

"What do we do now?" said Danny.

"We're going inside a cement building," said the Doctor. "We're going to pick a room with no windows. And then we're going to deadlock and barricade the door. Draw your own conclusions about why."

Harper scoffed. "You could just tell us and skip the circus act."

"And ruin the surprise?" The Doctor tutted and shook his head. "I shouldn't think so."

#

Back inside Studio 9, the Doctor rushed to check on the TARDIS. Before Rory could follow him in he turned. "No. Stay here. Protect them. I won't be long."

"What are you doing?" Rory asked.

"A test!" said the Doctor. "It's all right, Rory. After this we'll all have a talk and I'll tell you everything. I just need to get some readings off the dilator. Two minutes."

Before Rory could object, the Doctor shut the door. Moments later, the engines began to wheeze.

Rory's heart climbed up his throat. His eyes widened. "No." He rattled the door, then banged on it. "Don't you dare. Doctor? _Doctor!_"

The TARDIS vanished under his hands.

Rory closed his eyes briefly, thinking: _every time_. Then he set his jaw and turned around.

Harper and Danny were staring at him.

Harper let her duffel bag slip off her shoulder and onto the floor. "What did he mean protect us?" she said. "Protect us from what?"


	5. Sunday

"Protect us from what?" had just cleared Harper's lips when Rory heard the TARDIS engines again. Rory whirled. He was still feeling the burst of frustration at being left behind and he felt a bit of emotional whiplash as the TARDIS reappeared a few feet from where it had vanished. Eager footsteps echoed from inside, and then the door flew open and the Doctor stuck his coiffed head out.

He looked at them both and laughed like a boy. He punched the air. "Yes!"

Before Rory could say a word, the Doctor slammed the door of the TARDIS shut and cranked her up again.

The ship vanished and reappeared in a different part of the room.

The Doctor peeked out again. He grinned and pointed at the three humans.

"Doctor?" said Rory.

The Doctor said, "Ha!" He shut the door.

The TARDIS vanished, and reappeared.

After that it was a bit of a Ping-Pong game, with the TARDIS flashing all over the place and the Doctor inside, acting like he had just discovered a new ride at Epcot. Rory crossed his arms, but couldn't keep himself from smiling a little. Finally the TARDIS reappeared, apparently for good, because it just sat there humming away. Rory waited.

There was a strange rolling, rattling noise, which came from a very great distance inside the TARDIS.

Danny, Harper and Rory looked at each other, then back at the TARDIS.

The rolling came closer and closer. Suddenly both doors flew open and the Doctor burst out, going very fast on a skateboard and holding the sonic screwdriver in his hand. Rory winced. The Doctor called, "Watch this, Rory!" He pointed the screwdriver at the TARDIS.

The doors slammed shut of their own accord, and the ship disappeared.

The Doctor whipped past them, knees bent like a surfer—

And flew into the open doors of the TARDIS, which was suddenly on the opposite side of the room.

They heard an enormous splash, and a jet of water spilled out onto the studio floor. Moments later, the Doctor emerged with water dripping from his sleeves and a towel around his neck. He walked over and hooked one damp arm over Danny's shoulder and the other over Harper's shoulder. He was soaked to the skin. "Whoo! I've always wanted to do that. Never had the aim. Oh, the trees I ran into, once upon a time. And let's not mention what happened when I tried that in 1776. But not here. Finally a town that's small enough. Thank you, Harper Lee." He kissed her on the cheek, making her blush. "It was completely worth it, and don't ever let anybody tell you different."

He untangled himself from them and took off his coat, wringing it out on the floor.

"I thought we fed the pool to House," said Rory.

"We did," said the Doctor. "We have a duck pond now. Duck ponds are cool." He paused. "Can't say the same for the ducks though. Awful mess. We'll have to get a man in."

Despite himself, Rory laughed.

"See, there we are," said the Doctor. "Fun. That's why we went out."

"So how does that work, then?" said Rory, still smiling.

"And then, of course, someone has to go and pull at the thread," said the Doctor. He had the same cheerful tone, but this time there was a note of warning in it.

#

The Doctor pivoted around Rory and hopped onto the low stage. He put his soaking wet coat over the back of the chair, then sat down and crossed his muddy feet on the desk. He folded his hands behind his head and tipped the chair back as far as it would go.

"Welcome to the news," said the Doctor. "Live at…" He checked his watch. "Eleven a.m., twelve p.m., one p.m., two p.m. and so on." He made a spiraling motion with his hand. "Blah, blah, basically forever." He stopped and cocked his head. "Hold on. This isn't working for me at all. The whole atmosphere is wrong." He lifted the sonic screwdriver and pointed it across the room. The stage lights flickered on, bathing the Doctor in a messianic glow. They were still set up from _Sunday_. He grinned. "Woosh. Better." He took his feet off the desk and leaned forward, doing his best craggy Walter Cronkite impression. It was pretty good. His audience of three leaned forward, prepared to hear what he had to say.

After a sufficiently dramatic pause, the Doctor announced. "We're trapped. In a trap."

He waited.

"What?" said Rory. "Is that it?"

The Doctor shrugged. "More or less."

"Well, how do we get out?"

"That's not up to me," said the Doctor. He glanced at Harper. "Not this time."

"Okay," said Rory. "Whose trap is it? Not the Silence again."

The Doctor shook his head. "Not their style."

"Daleks?"

"No."

"Cybermen."

The Doctor sighed. "Rory, if we do the roll call of our enemies we really will be here forever, and you still won't get the right answer. This is something brand new." He held up a finger. "Here's what I think. If you have a different idea, do speak up. There's this special kind of spider, all right, that builds a little web like a tube." The Doctor made a circle with his hand. He peered at the humans through it. "Any woodland creature walking by might get curious and step inside. Or have a stupid day and fall inside, which is not even a little bit similar to what happened to me." His look challenged them to object.

"Right," said Rory, who was preoccupied with the image of the Doctor as a squirrel.

The Doctor continued, "Going in is easy enough, but when you turn around to climb out, well, that's when you find out the door only swings one way. You try to leave and you get caught in sticky thread." He squeezed his hand into a fist. "And it gets stickier and sticker the more you thrash." He lowered his voice. "And then, when you're finally stuck, that's when the spider comes." He made a spider with his other hand, creeping toward his clenched fist.

"But you just tried to get out," said Rory, taking a step back.

"Yes," said the Doctor peaceably.

Rory's eyes widened. "Did you make it worse? Did you just _make the trap worse_? So you could have a laugh?"

"Probably," said the Doctor.

Rory chuffed, then tabled that topic for another time. Assuming there was one. "Is it a lot of spiders coming or just one really big one?"

"A lot, I think," said the Doctor. "Several hundred. And they're not really spiders."

Without another word, Rory turned and began to walk toward the TARDIS.

"Where are you going?" the Doctor called. He made no effort to rise himself. He was getting quite comfortable in his chair, and the heat from the lights was drying him off. Show business was the Doctor's backup career.

"To get my sword!"

"There's really no need," said the Doctor. He took the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and started tuning it absently. It made high-pitched cheeping and whistling noises. "We're absolutely safe. Just stuck."

Rory stopped. His head lowered for a moment, then rose. He didn't turn. "How are we safe?"

"It's Sunday," said the Doctor. "We're safe because we stopped on a Sunday."

Rory turned. "And, what? God is on our side?"

"I wouldn't rule it out," said the Doctor. "But more importantly, our new friend Harper is. Tell me I'm wrong, Harper Lee."

#

The Doctor focused his attention on Harper and Danny. They were embracing, as people who loved each other tended to do when someone told them they were stuck in the spider's web. Harper was curled under Danny's right arm, and she was white-knuckling his hand. Danny rested his chin on top of her head. Danny looked dead scared, but Harper…

Harper was glaring. Harper was glaring white fire.

"You can say it now," said the Doctor gently. "It's all right. You don't do anything before a storm because in this town…"

Harper looked at her feet. "Because in this town," she said. Her voice was soft but clear as a bell. She hiccupped, like a child after a bout of hard crying. "Because in this town the storm never comes."

The Doctor was still playing with the screwdriver. The noise got sharper and more rhythmic. Danny blinked.

"Please don't hurt him," Harper begged. She stepped in front of Danny. "He doesn't know. Nobody knows but me."

Danny said, "What don't I know?" He stopped to rub his eyes. "Harper?"

"Doctor," Rory warned, at the same time.

"Don't be silly," said the Doctor, in his kindest tone. "It's not your fault, Harper. Or Danny's. You haven't done anything wrong and I'm not here to hurt you. Quite the opposite. But it still has to stop. You've managed to put it off for a very long time, but today is hurricane day. All right?"

"I can't," said Harper. "Don't make me, Doctor. We're fine here. We're good."

"You know that's not true."

Keying off her distress, Danny pulled Harper close. "I don't understand."

"No? Let me explain," said the Doctor.

The sonic screwdriver hit the right pitch.

"Cotton Dan" Cooper's face went vacant as an empty glass. Harper caught him before he fell.


	6. Trapped in a trap

"What did you do to him?" Harper demanded. "What the hell is that thing?"

Rory knew. He worked with epileptic patients at the hospital. He knew what strange sounds and lights could do to them. "Doctor, that was cruel."

"Was it?" The Doctor tucked the sonic screwdriver in his pocket. He watched the pair like a bird fancier, checking his watch at intervals.

Rory jogged to Harper and put a hand on Danny's stiff shoulder. From his pocket he took a penlight and shined it in his patient's vacant eyes. "Look at this," Rory tutted. "It's your fault, you know." He turned to glare at the Doctor. "If you're going to keep treating people like this you need to stop bringing me along, or you need to get ready for a fight, because I will stop you."

"Steady, Rory," said the Doctor, holding up a hand. "I tipped the boat. I didn't sink it. And it was necessary."

Sure enough, Danny recovered. In less than thirty seconds he blinked and flinched from Rory's light. He was milk-white and trembled with exhaustion, but he was himself. The Doctor watched as Harper made Danny walk up and down the studio, whispering in his ear what had happened and why.

"Women," the Doctor said, shaking his head in admiration. "I've got a mate like you, Harper. Her name's Amy. She couldn't be here today, but you'd get along."

"Yeah, like cats in a sack," Rory said.

The Doctor ignored him. "You're a lot alike, you and Amy. She's clever. Gives me a run for my money, now and again. But that's not the best thing about her. The best thing about her is that when she loves somebody, it's something to see. I mean something to see. It's the kind of love that rewrites time." Tired of being still, Doctor got up and meandered to the edge of the stage. "And my wife, River. She'd get a kick out of this place. _Sunday_. Like a great big cosmic practical joke. On me. She loves it when I get caught." He put his arms out and walked along the edge of the stage on his tiptoes, like it was a balance beam. "I hate Sundays myself. I skip them. It's sort of a policy. When have we ever done a Sunday, Rory?"

"Never," said Rory.

"Never," the Doctor confirmed. He reached the edge of the stage and hopped off. By coincidence he landed right next to Harper and Danny.

"Good news," the Doctor told Danny. "A reaction at that frequency level means you don't have epilepsy."

"What?" said Danny.

"You have—drum roll please, Rory—pico-dilated temporal regression."

"That's not even a real disease," said Rory.

"Oh, it isn't now," said the Doctor. "But just you wait five billion years." He tapped Danny's head like it was a bad melon. "The left side of your brain and the right side are running about eight hundred picoseconds apart. Like an engine with a tick. All right most of the time, but if they get too far out of sync, whoosh, goodnight." The Doctor shrugged. "It's very rare in humans."

"Wait," said Harper. "Are you saying you can cure him?"

"No," said the Doctor. "And it's progressive. Eventually deadly. I'm sorry, Danny. I really am. I know that's not an easy thing to hear. But you're lucky too, because you've got her. And she loves you. She loves you so much that she took on time for you. Which is not at all easy for an ordinary person to do. Was it an accident, Harper?" He switched his attention to her.

Harper took a deep breath and closed her eyes. It was time to confess. It was harder than she thought. She had to force each word out of her mouth. "Not really. I guess. We picked this place off a map. Danny wanted to go. I thought: _Possum Holler, why not_?"

"But when you got here," said the Doctor. "It got strange. Right?"

"It was subtle," said Harper. She opened her eyes and looked at the Doctor with a strange sort of intimacy, a strange sort of trust. "Like, at first you just think it's the pace of life down here. But then it seemed like the weeks were getting shorter. But the actual days were longer."

"The trap was springing," said the Doctor. "You were getting stuck."

"Yeah, maybe. I didn't think about it that way. I asked Danny, he just said time flies. He said he didn't notice anything wrong."

"Well, he wouldn't," said the Doctor. "His inner clock is off."

"And then it was like…"

"Like Sunday every day," said the Doctor. "You get up every morning, it's Sunday morning. The storm is coming but it never hits. The same shops are open with the same people inside. Every day a little bit slower than yesterday."

Harper nodded. "Yeah. And it frightened me, you know, at first."

"It should have done," said the Doctor, giving her a dark look. "It should have scared the living wits out of you. You should have gotten out of town as soon as you knew. It was ridiculously clever of you to notice, and you were in terrible danger."

"I know," said Harper. She hugged herself. "God, I know. I'm not stupid."

"I think we've established that," said the Doctor.

Harper sighed. "But Danny, he was like everybody else. He didn't know any different. It was just me who knew. Only me. And I thought: _why not stay_? I knew he was getting worse. I knew the medicine wasn't working. So why not just stop here a while?"

"Oh, Harper," said the Doctor. He squeezed her arm. "Your mum and dad knew what they were doing when they named you. You found a way to save him, didn't you. You couldn't make him better, but you could stop him from getting worse. The same day over and over again, going slower and slower and slower._ Sunday_ with Cotton Dan. Forever."

"Oh my God, you're kidding," Rory burst out.

"Danny," said the Doctor. He was still looking at Harper.

"You're _kidding_ me right now," said Rory.

The Doctor continued, "Danny, do you understand this conversation? You and Harper are stuck in a time trap. And now we're here too. All four of us together. And we can't ever leave."

"Oh, yeah?" said Rory. He was disgusted by the whole conversation. It went against everything he and Amy had learned in ten years of traveling with the Doctor. You _never_ stopped. You _never_ gave up. You certainly didn't go to the edge of the abyss and make a happy little camp. You either ran away or armed yourself and jumped in. "Forget that. Time is not the boss of us, Doctor." He waved at Harper and Danny. "It was really… weird meeting you two. Let's never do it again. Bye." He turned back to the TARDIS.

"Patience, Rory." The Doctor inclined his head at Danny and Harper. "We're taking the hard way out."

#

Danny was staring at Harper like he'd never seen her before.

Harper started crying. She'd been bearing up well until now, but she wasn't strong enough to lose him. "Don't be angry with me, Danny."

Though he could barely stand on his own, Danny let her go. He stepped away.

"Babe, please, please," Harper begged. She extended a hand. "Come back."

"You could have told me," said Danny.

"Why?"

"Because it's my decision too."

Rory stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the Doctor. They both crossed their arms and gave the couple identical looks, thinking of the girls back home. "If they've been rattling the trap," Rory muttered to the Doctor, "why doesn't the 'spider' come?"

"Spiders," said the Doctor. "And they are coming. That's not a storm, building off the coast. It's a swarm."

Danny was backing away. "This is crazy. Harper. This is _crazy_."

"It's luck," the Doctor told Rory. "For a minute I wondered if… but, no, it's just dumb luck. The things out there, see, they're predators. They expect you to struggle. They don't expect you to set up an Airstream in the car park and go about your life. They don't expect you to _like_ it." He got a thoughtful, introspective look on his face.

"So the fact that they're happy, it's like camouflage," said Rory, who liked to put a military perspective on things when the midden was about to hit the windmill.

The Doctor looked like he'd just bitten into a lemon. "Oh, don't be ridiculous, Rory. Are you mad? It's not like that at all. It's like _camouflage_."

"All right," said Rory patiently.

The Doctor made a fist again and rocked it back and forth. "Every time they move, they get pulled a little deeper into the web. But unless they struggle to get out, the 'spider' never comes."

"They could live here forever," said Rory, looking at Harper.

"No." The Doctor shook his head. "No."

Danny said, "Harper, this is wrong. It's so wrong."

"No, babe," said Harper. "It's life. It's the only way we can be together."

"Look around you, sweetheart," said Danny. Now that he knew, it was obvious. This whole world was hollow. It was like a stage set. "This. Is. Not. Life, Harper. Whatever you did, whatever you're doing, it has to stop."

Harper took a deep, shuddering breath. She wept into her hands. "But if I stop you'll die," she said in a tiny voice.

"Harper." He stopped backing away. He came closer to her, but didn't dare touch her. He was still angry. "We're dying right now! If _he's_ right, some day, some day soon, we're just going to stop. We're just going to freeze. We'll just be nothing. Nothing at all until the sun explodes."

"Hm," the Doctor observed quietly. "They're both clever, aren't they."

"Shh," said Rory.

The Doctor lapsed into thoughtful silence.

"Maybe I don't know you like I thought," said Danny.

Harper flinched.

Danny finished, "But that's not me and _it's not us_, Harper. We're travelers. We keep going. New town tomorrow. New job. New angle."

Harper didn't answer.

Danny looked at her with disgust. Then he turned to the Doctor. "How do we get out of this?"

"Easy," said the Doctor. "Make a plan and try."

"Then what?"

"Then… well, then the trap springs, the monsters come out, and we all fight for our lives."

Danny blinked.

"It's not as bad as it sounds," said Rory.

"Really?"

"No," said Rory. "Not really. That was a lie. It's very bad."

"Yeah," said Danny. "Just tell me how long I've been here. How much time have I lost?"

"I don't know," said the Doctor. "Could be months, could be years."

"Years." Danny said to himself. "God." Then he shook it off. He said, "Excuse me."

Danny came back to Harper. He didn't speak to her. He put a hand to her face and made her look at him. Then he kissed her.

Rory looked away, but the Doctor didn't.

Harper put a hand on Danny's chest, but she didn't pull away. It was Danny who stopped. Looking slightly drunk, he whispered something in her ear. She embraced him, sobbing into his shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around her.

"We're ready," said Danny. "It's time to end this."

"Harper?" said the Doctor.

She turned around. Her face was tracked with tears, but she gave him a forthright look.

The Doctor smiled, just a little.

"What do we do?" said Danny.

"You've done it," said the Doctor. "We're breaking out. The storm is coming."

"You mean the swarm is coming," said Danny.

"Isn't that what I said?"


End file.
